I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Randomize
