dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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