i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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