JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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