sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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