That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
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Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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