if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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