Having a random hookup so left but love u
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
