just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
