the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
