Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She's like a pop up book from hell.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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