I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
