Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
