I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.