the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
3 2 1 whiskey
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that