lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.