i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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