He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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