She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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