About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
