We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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