Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
