i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize