Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
