Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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