I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize