I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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