My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
