it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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