12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
