So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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