PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
