whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize