New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
