hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
