One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
