So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
