Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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