So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
