Ambien. No doubt about it.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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