I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
