i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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