Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize