oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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