I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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