my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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