yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You pole danced in your parka.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
