If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
