You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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