I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
