no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
