Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize