the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
