You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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