Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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