So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
