no, he came in my armpit
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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