Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
