Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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