If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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