i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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